"The Heart of the Matter" Break Ups

My spirit is bruised.  I recently went through an awful break-up, ironic I know, when is a break-up ever good right?  I have analyzed the demise of my relationship every which way....I have moments when I want to blame my ex for all of it and then in the next moment I am wondering if maybe, just maybe the demise of our relationship was all my fault.  I thought that our relationship was based on love but now I am not so sure....maybe it was just lust...and as time goes by it all gets murky.

I get consumed by the 'Why's' and the 'What ifs'....I am struggling, financially, heath wise, professionally, and even as a parent.  Nothing is perfect in my life.  His life though… appears perfect. His business is more successful than ever.  He looks great. 

But this isn't about him.  It's about me.  I convince myself everyday that I am struggling to heal.  That I am sad.  That I wasn't loved.  That I am worthless.  That he is going to find someone better than me!
Really.  REALLY!

Eh hem.  We are not together for a reason.  It is time to let him go.  Do you need to let someone go?

I have tried a thousand times to remind my heart of the many many reasons why I am angry and need to move on…but my heart and my mind are not in synce.  It's like I am having a fight with myself!

So yesterday I heard a song on my way home from work and something amazing happened.  My whole body agreed.  There was a feeling of peace that softened my soul and it dawned on me.  A fight will go on forever.  Noone ever wins a fight.  Ever.  Someone gives up or gives in but noone ever WINS.  The only time peace occurs is when the fight ends.  Really ends because there is an understanding.  Bear with me here….

The song I heard was Don Henley - The Heart of the Matter.  I highly recommend you listen to it if you're struggling with a break-up.  The song is about forgiveness.  When someone hurts you, you will drive yourself crazy trying to understand WHY.  Unless you can turn into them - you will never truly understand.  That's it.  You can be mad forever and the battle will rage between your heart and mind, or you can choose to forgive the person that hurt you and move on…for real.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting.  It means understanding.  It means you understand that some things are beyond your control.  It allows you to RELEASE THE ANGER that keeps keeps hurting YOU.  You stop looking for a reason and stop wondering if you're to blame.  You stop hurting yourself.  Forgive yourself…forgive the person thats hurt you.  Start healing.